MY WALK WITH GOD
First, all praise and honor and glory and thanksgiving to God, Most High, the Great, I AM!! Amen.
Now, I am a redeemed sinner, saved through the blood of Jesus Christ. Hallelujah to the Lamb of God!
We are all sinners. We are not all saved! God's word tells us so. Thank you, Jesus, our Savior!
Now, God has been working in my life since I was 13 (mostly behind the scenes). I spent most of the 45 years in-between 13 and 58 years old chasing the sins of the flesh, and running from God, instead of running from the king’s chariots, or letting God lead me through the Red Sea, away from my oppressors.
We may not understand God’s plan, but we should never doubt whether or not he has one, nor whether or not it is for the greater good of His Chosen, the believers.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11
So, most of my adult life, I have been an active and willing sinner. I have doubted God out loud to anyone who asked, or who would listen. I have run from Him, and searched in all the wrong places for the wrong answers: bars, parties, drugs, sex, horror movies (oh yeah, I was a horror movie fanatic for many, many, many years). I filled my soul with anger, violence, bloodshed, sex, vulgar language, and I became an angry adult.
How many of you know that whatever you fill your soul with is what you become? I didn't know it. Why don't they teach us these things in school, instead of Algebra, which no one remembers unless they use it daily.
So, anyway, please, please, please be sure to fill your hearts, and your children’s, with God’s Word, moral uprightness, righteousness and wholesomeness, and whatever you do, pay attention to what they are watching on TV and what they are doing on the internet. Yes, Lord. Amen.
Now, my first real and only association with God until adulthood was when I was 12- to 14 years old. When I was 13 years old, I was baptized in the church, in front of the congregation. A short time after being baptized in front of the congregation in church, my Sunday school class had a camp for the kids, which I attended. We were at camp for 10 days. It was a very spiritual camp. Every activity, all day, focused around scripture, prayer and fellowship.
While at camp, we had the opportunity to be baptized again in the lake, so I participated. Looking back now, and at the time, the whole baptism was surreal: putting on the white robe and lining up for your turn to walk into the lake and be baptized by the preacher.
As soon as I was lifted up out of the water that day, I was a different person, completely at peace, in love with everyone and everything, and I wanted everyone to feel the same way. I could not understand why no one had ever told me about this, or why everyone didn’t do it!?
I was not aware of the following scripture at the time, or at least, again, I do not remember being aware of it, but having since learned it, I understood how Jesus felt when being baptized by John the Baptist, when He came up out of the water, “And behold, a voice from heaven said, ‘This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased and delighted!’” Matthew 3:17
I have no memory now, or since, of being told that it was a very special gift that needed to be nourished and nurtured daily with the Word of God and fervent prayer. I returned home after camp to my normal life, my same old friends, and the warm fuzzy feelings soon faded away and were forgotten for another 20 years.
At one point, I joined a metaphysical church for six years. This church had a strong community outreach program, and their messages and sermons were important life lessons from Scripture, but they were metaphysical in every sense of the word: tarot cards, mediums, palm readings, you name it.
In the same time frame, I was driving 45 minutes to and from work, through never-ending construction, for four of the six years I attended the metaphysical church. In the beginning, every day, morning and night, I would find myself cursing out other drivers under my breath, or occasionally, more vocally, and sometimes honking the horn. Then, I learned meditation, and I started noticing results, being less angry and less short-tempered, so I started meditating in the car, during that 45-minute drive, twice a day.
“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
I guess my words and meditation were acceptable because I started noticing a difference in my attitude, gradually, slowly.
Then, around the same time, at the metaphysical church, we learned about decrees and declarations. So, I started confessing out loud a specific decree, over and over and over again, while driving 45 minutes to work, twice a day, every day. This decree was simply something like, I am Peace, Love, Happiness, Joy, Compassion, Understanding, Kindness. Over and over again to myself in the car.
I am unsure whether it was the meditation or the decree, or possibly both, but over a period of months between the two activities, something changed in me, just like it had when I was baptized at 13 years old. I loved everyone. Instead of cursing out the cars in front of me, I was blessing the drivers, saying out loud that they probably had a bad morning, and praying that they have a better day.
God had taken over my meditation and decrees. He had taken over my life. Again. And, again, this did not last, because I had no faith, and I failed to nurture His presence.
After six years, we stopped attending the metaphysical church, and for another 20 years, I continued running from God, looking for all the wrong answers in all the wrong places. During my years of denial, running from God, my mother - God Bless her heart - told me time and again to get back to God, but my mind was blinded by Satan, the god of this world. So, I always responded to my poor mother with, I don't believe in that stuff, mom, or some other blasphemous comment, which I am sure broke her heart. I’m sorry, mom. I know she is looking down on me from heaven, and praising God that I awakened to the power of Jesus Christ. Hallelujah! Thank you, Mom, for giving me a foundation in Christ.
So, fast forward to 2018. I was sitting in the garage looking out at the mountains, and a storm was rolling in, low, grumbling, black and gray clouds, interspersed with lightning strikes and distant thunder. Then, I hear this loud, booming thunder, which seemed to start at one end of the universe and echo across to the other end of the universe, and which seemed to last for eons. It shook me to my core. Then it happened again.
In the back of my mind, I knew God was demanding my attention. He would no longer let me run away from Him.
Before this incident, my husband and I had been watching videos on history, archaeology and even Ancient Aliens, which led us to the Bible, and we had gradually begun to study the Bible.
Some months later, God told me to contact my sister, and tell her, GOD IS REAL. Seems simple enough, right? Well, my sister and I have been estranged for many years, first for what were ridiculous reasons, and then later for how she was caring for our mother, or not caring for her. Obviously, as with most families, there is a lot more family history to it, but you can see that she probably did not want to hear from me. When God told me this, I started sobbing, and I told Him, in no uncertain terms, I cannot do that. I told Him that He did not understand, that it just was not possible for me to do that. Can you imagine telling God that He does not understand your life, or what you can or cannot do? Of course, He immediately told me, It is possible, and you will do it.
I continued to sob uncontrollably, as I recanted the story to my husband. Again, I told my husband, I cannot contact her, I just can’t . . . Anyway, I had to contact another family member to get my sister’s email address. Yep, I took the coward’s way out and emailed her, instead of calling her. So, I emailed my sister. I told her that I realized I was probably the last person she wanted to hear from, and she was certainly the last person I wanted to contact, but that God told me to tell her that GOD IS REAL! Hallelujah. Praise God.
Then, around the end of beginning of 2019, God put on my heart to "help the children." That was it, “help the children.” I prayed fervently for guidance. God was talking, and I was trying to listen. Later, I became a warrior on social media for the unborn babies being sacrificed, 60 million per year worldwide, until social media became social(ism) media.
Then, some time in 2021, God turned my attention to focusing on His Word. So, I started reading and studying the Bible. In August 2021, I began to read it from start to finish, and completed it in December 2021.
God Chose Me. As much as I denied Him, He still Chose Me. He told me to testify about Jesus Christ, who was crucified for our sins, and rose again, so that we might do the same through the resurrection.
Is God trying to talk to you? Are you listening?
Make no mistake, He has a purpose for you as well.
Hallelujah to the Lamb of God! Thank you, Jesus. Praise God. Amen.
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Born again and redeemed by the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
“But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:”
1 Peter 1:19